Journals37
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heeeeyy
1 min read
so I said I was going to be active here in dA, I am pretty active recently....
on my new account. OTL
I'm sorry i made a new account and abandoned this one because i felt that my previous fanarts here and the fanarts that I'm making right now are super different ((I went from anime to chanbaek)) and since I draw chanbaek a lot now, I just thought I would just make another account for it.
so yeah if I still have business with you you can find me here
shameless advertising yep
on my new account. OTL
I'm sorry i made a new account and abandoned this one because i felt that my previous fanarts here and the fanarts that I'm making right now are super different ((I went from anime to chanbaek)) and since I draw chanbaek a lot now, I just thought I would just make another account for it.
so yeah if I still have business with you you can find me here
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HEY THERE GUYS, it's me again ;;
And yes I know I've been away for like, I don't know, three summers? ;_; It was an unnanounced hiatus and what's bad is that I've been on an almost three year hiatus without finishing my point commissions first.
Okay first things first, I'm gonna explain ;;
Now this may seem like a lame "excuse" and I'm really sorry for that and I'm sorry if my reason is in any way "invalid". So anyway, my explanation:
Two years ago, before I entered college, I got the results for my entrance exam on this university. I really wanted to take up fine arts on this university but unfortunately, I wasn't qualified. I was really upset but I knew that I could still take my chances and apply for a reconsideration, so I did lol. So there, they told me to give a few of my drawings so they can evaluate it and boom, I still didn't get reconsidered. Okay, this was when I broke down.
My parents told me to just take another program for now and try transferring again to fine arts the next semester. One semester later I went back to the university to ask if I could still transfer, and they told me they've stopped accepting transferrees starting that year. THAT YEAR. THE EXACT FREAKING YEAR WHEN I PLANNED ON TRANSFERRING. Aaand that's how I gave up, both on trying a become a fine arts student and in life. lol kidding, but still.
I felt like the gods did everything in their will to stop me from becoming a fine arts student, and it made me feel like the shittiest person in the world /insert ugly sobbing here/
So yeah, my self esteem was crushed because of my entrance exam results and a loooot of other things. I didn't want to try drawing anymore because I've always thought that I would never improve. I thought, "the university didn't see any potential in me anyway, so why bother". Hahaha, I've been a very depressed little shit two years ago. I didn't draw for TWO YEARS. It felt wrong, but when I tried to draw, it always looked like crap so I'd feel even worse than before.
Okay, two years after that incident, here I am C:
I'm still trying to get back on my feet. I'm drawing again <3 but not as often as before (but it's better than not drawing). I've been pretty active on Tumblr and Twitter (that's where I've been posting my drawings). I couldn't post them here because I've been drawing K-pop fanarts. Yes that's right, two years in hiatus and I come back drawing korean guys ;;; I'm so sorry ;;;
So, I came baacckk C: I know that a lot of you would probably want to punch me (especially my commissioners) AND I'M REALLY, REALLY SORRY. I know that I've been apologizing one too many times and that my "sorry"s are getting pretty tiring as time passes by BUT I REALLY AM SORRY. I can't promise that I'll be able to upload a lot of drawings here to tell you that I'm still alive but I WANT to upload at least one deviation per month just to let you know that I have no intention of leaving AGAIN.
I missed DeviantArt and it's been really lonely not being able to talk to the people I've been talking to here before so I'm reaally gonna come back and actually stay for real now ;W;
PS: I posted a journal prior to this saying that I'm gonna come back here and stuff, but no one commented on it so I assumed that no one read it (and no one cared) so it took me THIS long to come back again ;;;;
I'M GOING TO BE ACTIVE AGAIN ;w; I'M REALLY SORRY FOR LEAVING UNFINISHED BUSINESS BEHIND ;;;
And yes I know I've been away for like, I don't know, three summers? ;_; It was an unnanounced hiatus and what's bad is that I've been on an almost three year hiatus without finishing my point commissions first.
Okay first things first, I'm gonna explain ;;
Now this may seem like a lame "excuse" and I'm really sorry for that and I'm sorry if my reason is in any way "invalid". So anyway, my explanation:
Two years ago, before I entered college, I got the results for my entrance exam on this university. I really wanted to take up fine arts on this university but unfortunately, I wasn't qualified. I was really upset but I knew that I could still take my chances and apply for a reconsideration, so I did lol. So there, they told me to give a few of my drawings so they can evaluate it and boom, I still didn't get reconsidered. Okay, this was when I broke down.
My parents told me to just take another program for now and try transferring again to fine arts the next semester. One semester later I went back to the university to ask if I could still transfer, and they told me they've stopped accepting transferrees starting that year. THAT YEAR. THE EXACT FREAKING YEAR WHEN I PLANNED ON TRANSFERRING. Aaand that's how I gave up, both on trying a become a fine arts student and in life. lol kidding, but still.
I felt like the gods did everything in their will to stop me from becoming a fine arts student, and it made me feel like the shittiest person in the world /insert ugly sobbing here/
So yeah, my self esteem was crushed because of my entrance exam results and a loooot of other things. I didn't want to try drawing anymore because I've always thought that I would never improve. I thought, "the university didn't see any potential in me anyway, so why bother". Hahaha, I've been a very depressed little shit two years ago. I didn't draw for TWO YEARS. It felt wrong, but when I tried to draw, it always looked like crap so I'd feel even worse than before.
Okay, two years after that incident, here I am C:
I'm still trying to get back on my feet. I'm drawing again <3 but not as often as before (but it's better than not drawing). I've been pretty active on Tumblr and Twitter (that's where I've been posting my drawings). I couldn't post them here because I've been drawing K-pop fanarts. Yes that's right, two years in hiatus and I come back drawing korean guys ;;; I'm so sorry ;;;
So, I came baacckk C: I know that a lot of you would probably want to punch me (especially my commissioners) AND I'M REALLY, REALLY SORRY. I know that I've been apologizing one too many times and that my "sorry"s are getting pretty tiring as time passes by BUT I REALLY AM SORRY. I can't promise that I'll be able to upload a lot of drawings here to tell you that I'm still alive but I WANT to upload at least one deviation per month just to let you know that I have no intention of leaving AGAIN.
I missed DeviantArt and it's been really lonely not being able to talk to the people I've been talking to here before so I'm reaally gonna come back and actually stay for real now ;W;
PS: I posted a journal prior to this saying that I'm gonna come back here and stuff, but no one commented on it so I assumed that no one read it (and no one cared) so it took me THIS long to come back again ;;;;
I'M GOING TO BE ACTIVE AGAIN ;w; I'M REALLY SORRY FOR LEAVING UNFINISHED BUSINESS BEHIND ;;;
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GUYSGUYSGUYSGUYSGUYS
2 min read
GUUUUYSSSSSS!!! asdfgahsjakdla OMGGUYSIMISSEDYOUSOMUCH
uhmm.. well... commissioners before you kill me, please.. Q - Q
I NEVER ONCE FORGOT ABOUT YOUR COMMISSIONS, I WAKE UP EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. WITH GUILT EATING ME UP
YES, I AM DOING YOUR COMMISSIONS. (LOL, believe it or not, I REALLY AM XD) AND THE REASON I CAN'T POST THEM/ I'M NOT DONE WITH THEM YET.... WILL BE POSTED ON ANOTHER JOURNAL ENTRY COZ IT'S TOO LONG AND ITS SHITTYNESS CANNOT BE CONTAINED IN THIS JOURNAL ENTRY ;__;
STARTING TODAY, I WILL BE WRITING JOURNAL ENTRIES TO LET YOU KNOW THAT I AM STILL ALIVE.
Guess what guuuyss, I'm now in COLLEGE!!
and no, that emoticon is not supposed to look happy. COZ COLLEGE IS JUST. IDK MAN. JUST...... well let's just say it took away probably half of my self-esteem. AND IT'S ONE OF THE REASONS I FEEL LIKE SHIT EVERYTIME I DRAW XD
So anyway guys, there you have it. I'll post my REAL REASONS FOR BEING INACTIVE when I'm done with the commissions. I'm really sorry, I know I've said this way too many times already. I thank you for being really, really patient. I LOVE YOU FOR THAT
THANK YOU AGAIN. THANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOU
I will another journal entry sometime this week... I guess, just to let you know I think of you people (and your over-over-overdue commissions) everyday
uhmm.. well... commissioners before you kill me, please.. Q - Q
I NEVER ONCE FORGOT ABOUT YOUR COMMISSIONS, I WAKE UP EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. WITH GUILT EATING ME UP
YES, I AM DOING YOUR COMMISSIONS. (LOL, believe it or not, I REALLY AM XD) AND THE REASON I CAN'T POST THEM/ I'M NOT DONE WITH THEM YET.... WILL BE POSTED ON ANOTHER JOURNAL ENTRY COZ IT'S TOO LONG AND ITS SHITTYNESS CANNOT BE CONTAINED IN THIS JOURNAL ENTRY ;__;
STARTING TODAY, I WILL BE WRITING JOURNAL ENTRIES TO LET YOU KNOW THAT I AM STILL ALIVE.
Guess what guuuyss, I'm now in COLLEGE!!
and no, that emoticon is not supposed to look happy. COZ COLLEGE IS JUST. IDK MAN. JUST...... well let's just say it took away probably half of my self-esteem. AND IT'S ONE OF THE REASONS I FEEL LIKE SHIT EVERYTIME I DRAW XDSo anyway guys, there you have it. I'll post my REAL REASONS FOR BEING INACTIVE when I'm done with the commissions. I'm really sorry, I know I've said this way too many times already. I thank you for being really, really patient. I LOVE YOU FOR THAT
THANK YOU AGAIN. THANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUI will another journal entry sometime this week... I guess, just to let you know I think of you people (and your over-over-overdue commissions) everyday
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WEEEE~!!! I AM ALIVE~!!!
2 min read
HI GUYS!!! IT'S BEEN A WHILE! 
So yeah, I haven't been that active here. SORRY FOR THAT.
BUT ANYWAY, I'M FINALLY DOING MY COMMISSIONS AGAIN~
Thanks to all that noted me and motivated me~! I LOVE YOU GUYS!
It's finally the Christmas break and I finally have free time to draw!!! YAAAAA-Y!!!!
I'll start drawing more tonight! I don't know what's gotten into me, but I had the urge to draw LOL.
Oh yeah.. and one more thing....... MY TRUSTWORTHY 0.05 DRAWING PEN JUST DIED LAST WEEK DUE TO UNNECESSARY USE AND USED UP LIFESPAN
So SOME commissions may be delayed ;_;
HERE ARE THE WORKS I've HAD PROGRESS WITH!
OC Kana x Shii -
Richter x Emil - 
OC Bella x Mugen -
-OC Elise x Noel -
THANK YOU FOR ALL YOUR PATIENCE!!!!
So yeah, I haven't been that active here. SORRY FOR THAT.BUT ANYWAY, I'M FINALLY DOING MY COMMISSIONS AGAIN~
Thanks to all that noted me and motivated me~!
I LOVE YOU GUYS! It's finally the Christmas break and I finally have free time to draw!!! YAAAAA-Y!!!!
I'll start drawing more tonight! I don't know what's gotten into me, but I had the urge to draw LOL.
Oh yeah.. and one more thing....... MY TRUSTWORTHY 0.05 DRAWING PEN JUST DIED LAST WEEK DUE TO UNNECESSARY USE AND USED UP LIFESPAN
So SOME commissions may be delayed ;_;
HERE ARE THE WORKS I've HAD PROGRESS WITH!
OC Kana x Shii - Richter x Emil - OC Bella x Mugen - -OC Elise x Noel - THANK YOU FOR ALL YOUR PATIENCE!!!!
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TO ALL MY POINT COMMISSIONERS~~
2 min read
TO ALL MY VALUED POINT COMMISSIONERS!! PLEASE READ THIS!! THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT!
As we all know, to every artist's life, there is a very inevitable enemy called "ART BLOCK"
As of now, my Art Block is at Level 8 out of 10
This stage is where I get inspired and motivated to draw and when the paper is right in front of me, I draw and draw, but I get very dissatisfied with my work that I erase and erase it all over again. IT'S AN ENDLESS CYCLE. I DON'T KNOW WHY IT'S HAPPENING TO ME.
So yeah, I wanted you to read it because I have a REALLY BIG FAVOR TO ASK OF YOU
PLEASE SPAM ME NOTES ABOUT YOUR POINT COMMISSIONS!!!
PLEASE?! I REALLY NEED IT! ; w ;
If you didn't understand it, it actually meant for you to spam me with notes saying that you already want your commish finished.
SOMETHING LIKE:
Dear UVERworldnoZanGetsu
I REALLY NEED MY COMMISH FINISH like, RIGHT AWAY. THAT WAS like, MONTHS AGO AND YET IT'S STILL NOT FINISHED.
PLEASE HURRY UP ALREADY.
or something like that
PLEASE WRITE ME A NOTE EVEN IF YOU STILL DON'T NEED YOUR COMMISH!;_;
I want you to do this because GUILT can overcome my artblock and get me back to drawing. If my Point Commissioners point out that they want their commishes done, then my GUILT COMPLEX will motivate me to draw :3
PLEASE? IT'LL BE A GREAT HELP!
THANKS~!!!!
As we all know, to every artist's life, there is a very inevitable enemy called "ART BLOCK"
As of now, my Art Block is at Level 8 out of 10
This stage is where I get inspired and motivated to draw and when the paper is right in front of me, I draw and draw, but I get very dissatisfied with my work that I erase and erase it all over again. IT'S AN ENDLESS CYCLE. I DON'T KNOW WHY IT'S HAPPENING TO ME.So yeah, I wanted you to read it because I have a REALLY BIG FAVOR TO ASK OF YOU
PLEASE SPAM ME NOTES ABOUT YOUR POINT COMMISSIONS!!!
PLEASE?! I REALLY NEED IT! ; w ;If you didn't understand it, it actually meant for you to spam me with notes saying that you already want your commish finished.
SOMETHING LIKE:
Dear UVERworldnoZanGetsu
I REALLY NEED MY COMMISH FINISH like, RIGHT AWAY. THAT WAS like, MONTHS AGO AND YET IT'S STILL NOT FINISHED.
PLEASE HURRY UP ALREADY.
or something like that
PLEASE WRITE ME A NOTE EVEN IF YOU STILL DON'T NEED YOUR COMMISH!;_;
I want you to do this because GUILT can overcome my artblock and get me back to drawing. If my Point Commissioners point out that they want their commishes done, then my GUILT COMPLEX will motivate me to draw :3
PLEASE? IT'LL BE A GREAT HELP!
THANKS~!!!!
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